hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
