am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
