so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
