She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
