My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize