im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize