her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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