You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
