Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
