I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
