Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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