I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Come on in and take your pants off
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