My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
