you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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