You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
