four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
