the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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