This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
