Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
