Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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