For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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