He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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