Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
