i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
