I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
