Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Let's get the cat blown out
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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