Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
