the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
