I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
