My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
