Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
