She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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