whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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