You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
