3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
