I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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