Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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