I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
