I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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