I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
