Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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