a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
