Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Randomize
