btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
