Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
