Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
