I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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