I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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