she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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