I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
