I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
