I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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