Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
