they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize