Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Randomize
